It’s something I hate to do. It’s not having control, depending on others to make your own plans, not a fan. My job used to involve a lot of waiting, for country teams to send program information, for the finance team to approve budgets, for grant givers to review proposals, for projects to be implemented, for any sort of result. The more I think about it, the more I understand why I was always so anxious!
The things I wait for now are very different. A side of me is tempted to say they are not as “important”. However, given the context (my life revolves around home projects) I think I have all reason to dislike waiting now as much as I always have. It’s the eye of the beholder thing…
Currently I’m waiting on a few things, a few books from the library I’ve had on hold for a few weeks, a kitchen utensil holder I painted a week ago, my mother-in-law’s sewing machine which is getting a tune up, and worse of all, a new Castle DVD from Netflix. That’s the straw that is breaking the camel’s back. I’m only able to binge watch my new addiction four episodes at a time. It hardly qualifies as binge watching.
The thing is, while I wait for all these things to show up, ideas and projects are pilling up. I keep checking out books from the library that lead to new projects, the kitchen counters are a mess because I urgently something to hold the excessive amount of wooden spoons we own, and I have enough fabric for weeks worth of sewing protects. Mind you, I have never sewn before so I have no idea how long the copious amount of 1/2-yard fabric cutouts in the closet will really last.
To take my mind off of things I’ve been practicing new embroidery stitches. It’s crazy how you can focus so much time and energy into a small piece of white muslin and colorful threads. There’s the chain stitch, the lazy daisy stitch, the couch stitch and my nemesis, the stem stitch.
I have tried to work on this last stitch in my office, the living room, with and without an embroidery hoop, in the morning and evening (and even at night, which is crazy!), I have even tried to work on it with different color threads. Somehow it always manages to look off. The “stems” always look separated, uneven, not at all like in the pictures.
I’m thinking that all this waiting is what’s throwing me off, and no matter how hard I try to get myself to pretend I’m in control of everything around me, I’m not. The stem stitch is just one of the ways through which it shows. Seemingly unrelated, waiting and the stem stitch have come together and become a nuisance.
Am I lucky that these are my biggest problems? Yes, most definitely. I am very grateful that I don’t have much more to worry about. But honestly, I wish I could just get all my stuff, especially the next Castle DVD.
To end on a positive note, check out the Instagram picture from this morning. That homemade cinnamon swirl bread was to die for and tomorrow I will be making it into French Toast for my husband’s breakfast!
Come back soon. More to come. Sorry for the wait!